How Gerentex Stole Christmas
by Axe Rat
Summary: A little out of season I know but please read!!!!


Disclaimer: I don't own Andromeda, and I don't own the Grnich. I'm only borrowing them for a little while.   
  
Authors Notes: This is something that has been in my head for a while, but I couldn't finish it in time for Christmas.   
It is my first Andromeda Fan fiction and I hope you like it. Please review me as it would really help.   
  
How Gerentex Stole Christmas!  
  
All the crew,  
On the Andromeda,  
Liked Christmas a lot...  
  
But Gerentex,   
Who tried to take the Andromeda   
did not!  
  
He hated Christmas, the whole Christmas season!  
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.  
It could be that his jacket glowed in the night,  
It could be that his medallion was on too tight.  
But the most likely reason of all  
Was that his heart was two sizes too small.  
  
But,  
Whatever the reason,  
His heart or his jacket,  
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating Harper ("that maggot"),  
Staring down from his ship with a sour, nightsider frown  
At Beka and Trance in their nighting gowns.  
For he knew all the crew on the Andromada's deck  
Was busy now doing a last minute check.  
  
"They're hanging their stockings!" he sneered with a sneer.  
"Tomorrow is Christmas! Its practically here!"  
Then he growled, with his hairy fingers he started drumming.  
"I must find a way to stop them from knowing!"  
  
For,  
Tomorrow, he knew...  
  
All the crew girls and boys  
Would wake bright and early and power up the android!  
And then! Oh the noise! Oh the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!  
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!  
  
Then the crew, alien and human would sit down to a feast.  
And they'd feast! And they'd feast!  
And they'd feast! Feast! Feast! Feast!  
  
They would feast on Tyr's pudding and Tyrs rare Rev Roast Beef!   
(A/N: That's where he went! JOKEING!!)  
And that's the only thing that Gerentex would eat!  
  
And THEN  
They'd do something  
He liked least of all!  
All the crew on the ship, the Harper and the tall,  
Would stand on the bridge and the red alert bells ringing.  
They stood at their station. And the crew would start singing!  
  
They'd sing! And sing!  
AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!  
And the more he thought of this crew-Christmas-sing,  
The more he thought, "I must stop this whole thing!  
"why, for about a year I've put up with it now!  
"I MUST stop this Christmas from coming!  
...But HOW?"  
  
Then he got an idea!  
An awful idea!  
THE NIGHTSIDER GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!  
  
"I know just what to do!" Gerentex laughed in his throat.  
And made a quick Dylan Wig® and a coat.  
And he chuckled and chuckled, "Now I can kill 'em!  
"With this coat and this wig, I look just like Capt'n Dylan!"  
  
"All I need is a Rommie..."  
Gerentex looked around.  
But since Rommies are scarce, there was none to be found.  
Did that stop that Gerentex...?  
No! Gerentex simply said,  
"if I can't find a Rommie, I'll make one instead!"  
So he bought a brown wig. Then took some strong glue  
And glued the wig onto his mate Lou.  
  
THEN  
He loaded some bags  
And an old empty crate  
On a ramshackle ship  
And sat next to his mate.  
  
Then Gerentex said, "'Stream!"  
And the ship went away  
Towards the ship of the crew  
Where they slept at bay.  
  
All the lights were off. Tyr's snores filled the air.  
All the crew were all dreaming of commonwealths of care.  
When he came to the first cabin, who was in there?  
"This is Trance's small room," the shifty nightsider hissed  
and he opened the hatch, empty bags in his fist.  
Then he slid down the conduit. It got a bit tighter.  
But, if Harper could do it then so could the Nightsider.  
He got stuck only once, caused a small dent.  
Then he stuck his head out of the conduit vent.  
Where the purple girls stocking hung out on show.  
"this stocking," he grinned, "is the first thing to go!"  
  
Then he moon-danced along, the moves were unpleasant,  
Around the whole room and he took every present!  
Hair-clips! And Brushes! High heels! Flexies!  
Tail Wax! Shampoo! Teddies! And Bikinis!  
And he stuffed them in bags. He was very nimble,  
When he stuffed them all back down the tunnel!  
  
He moved to the Mess Hall. He took Tyr's Feast.  
He took Tyr's pudding! He took the Rev Beef!  
He cleaned out that Mess, even the cooler.  
He even took the last Sparky Cola!  
  
Then he stuffed all the food down the vent with glee.  
"And NOW!" said the nightsider, "I'll stuff up the tree!"  
  
And Gerentex grabbed the tree, and he started to shove  
When he heard a small sound, like the coo of a dove.  
He turned around fast, and saw one of the crew!  
Little Purple Girl Trance, who was up at night too!  
  
The nightsider was caught by this little crew member.  
Who got out of bed to write my disclaimer!  
She stared at Gerentex and said, "Capt'n Dylan, Why,  
"Why are you taking my Christmas tree? WHY?"  
  
But you know that nightsider was a cheat and a trick  
He thought of a lie and he thought it up quick!  
"why my young little Trance," the fake Dylan Hunt lied,  
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.  
"So I'm taking it down to my Harper my dear.  
"He'll fix it down there. Then I'll bring it back here."  
  
He fooled the young Trance. Then he patted her head  
Then he got her a disclaimer and sent her to bed.  
And when Trance Gemini was in bed all tucked up,  
HE went to the tree and stuffed it all up!  
  
And the last thing he took was her fluffy white hat!  
And he went down the vent, himself, the old rat.  
  
In the room he left nothing but her welcome mat.  
And the one speck of food that he left on the floor  
No one would eat because it was sour.  
  
  
Then  
he did the same thing  
to the other crew members  
  
leaving crumbs  
much to small  
for the crew to remember!  
  
It was early next morn...  
All the crew still at dream,  
Tyr still a-snooze  
When he was in stream,  
Packed it up with their presents! The gauss-guns! The F.M.S  
The X-1! And the Chain mail! The tool-belt! All the Mess!  
  
Light-years away! At the edge of the black hole,  
(A/N: Its Back!!!)  
He flew with his load to see the show!  
"Pooh-Pooh to the crew!" he was nightsider-ish-ly humming.  
"They're finding out no Christmas is coming!  
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!  
"They're mouths will hang open a minute or two  
"Then the crew on that ship will all cry BOO-HOO!  
  
"That's a noise," grinned Gerentex,  
"That I simply MUST hear!"  
So he paused. And Gerentex opened a transmission.  
And he did hear a sound rising over radio.  
It started in low. Then it started to grow...  
  
But the sound wasn't sad!  
Why, this sound sounded merry!  
It couldn't be so!  
But it WAS merry! VERY!  
  
He starred at the ship!  
Gerentex popped his eyes!  
Then he shook!  
What he saw was a strange surprise!  
  
All the crew on the ship, Dylan and the small,  
Was singing! Without any Flexies at all!  
  
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!  
IT CAME!  
Somehow or other, it came just the same!  
  
And the nightsider, with his feet ice-cold on the ship,  
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "how could it be so?  
"It came without teddies! It came without the X-1!  
It came without lances, tool-belts and a gauss-gun!  
And he puzzled a while, till his puzzler was sore.  
Then Gerentex thought of something he hadn't before!  
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.  
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"  
  
And what happened then...?  
Well... the commonwealth say  
That the Nightsider's small heart  
grew three sizes that day!  
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,  
He 'Streamed with his load with a smile that would give you a fright  
And he bought back the toys! The Rev for the feast!  
And he...  
  
...HE HIMSELF...!  
Gerentex carved the Rev Beef! 


End file.
